Content - Who Is Worth Offending?

As I dove deep into the set up of a trillion different social media, Good Reads, Book Bub (and so forth) sites, new challenges emerged. When I began the process of inviting current social media friends and followers to like, add, or follow me, I found my finger hovering with dubiety over certain names.

As eager as I was to gain followers, I resisted my initial urge to hit the request all option. Something caused me to be selective in my invites and I knew immediately what that something was.

Content.

Of course, the whole point of encouraging people to follow my pages and sites was that upon its release, said followers would purchase and read my book.

This is exactly where my conflict lay. The content of the book would not necessarily appeal to everyone currently on my friends list. I’m being too vague. The uncomfortable truth was that the more graphic elements of the story would most definitely be found by some as offensive.

My lack of assertiveness made me question a number of things. Was I ashamed of my work? Embarrassed even? Was I afraid of being judged by those who may have held me in high esteem? (don’t laugh, I’ve been told by quite reputable individuals that for some this is indeed the case) Was I fearful of the potential ramifications upon those closest to me?

And more importantly, were such fears causing me a moment of regret?

I had experienced moments of trepidation throughout the entire writing process but reasoned that even within a specific genre readers’ tastes and opinions varied so greatly that attempting to please everyone was simply an impossible task. If I had spent any significant amount of time questioning the “what ifs,” or tried to reconcile a way to please the majority, I would never have completed my first draft.

I knew that some people would hate it. I think that’s just part of life no matter what you do, but equally I had faith that some would like it.

But this wasn’t an issue in relation to personal likes and dislikes, this was something far less subjective.

While I worked through fight scenes, violent interactions, sexually explicit encounters, questioned and refuted the existence of God, and engaged in some pretty strong language along the way, I did sometimes question if what I had written was too graphic. And if I’m being honest the most controversial components of the story related to the sex scenes.

So why include them?

This is an adult themed book. I had no desire to add to a preexisting and quite ridiculous taboo that defies logic. Sex is a natural, normal part of adulthood. For the protagonist it illustrates the strength of her attraction, even in the face of adversity and conflicted feelings. The intricate relationships she experiences evoke strong emotional pulls. Her sexual attraction is a driving force that works in opposition to all other conceivable rationales. The inclusion of sexual encounters is relatable, adds tension, and increases the complexities faced by the main characters, therefore making them a necessary element.

Do I think that offending readers is something that should always be dismissed? Absolutely not. If I was writing about social issues, race, culture, ethnicity, an existing religious belief system or sexual orientation/gender issues then objectivity and sensitivity would be of paramount importance. Because with such subject matters, misrepresentation has the potential to not just offend but to harm.

Although violence, atheism, cussing, depictions of same sex relationships and any sexually explicit content may offend, I don’t honestly consider it harmful.

Removing certain scenes and toning down factors would have deemphasized what were highly charged moments. For the preservation of the characters, I had to adopt an outward mindset and stand with the courage of my convictions. Foregoing the authenticity of the story line was too high a price to pay for pleasing people.

There isn’t a single person that I know of who has managed to please everyone. Not a writer, religious leader, politician, celebrity, saint or historical figure. I really don’t think I’m about to break that cycle.

Am I going to encourage my mother’s devoutly catholic elderly friends to read my first novel? Of course not. That isn’t a decision made from a place of shame, but simply out of respect for a generation with starkly different views on a whole host of matters. Demonstrating consideration for the norms and values of others isn’t necessitated by a meeting of minds, but by acceptance and understanding in a respectful manner despite having different opinions.

Life is tough and I know that some days any criticism is going to get me down, regardless of how constructive it may be. Any facet of feedback extends an opportunity to learn and improve, whether that be in writing, personal growth, or tolerance for the opinions of others.

I also know that some days will be better, and on those days I won’t give two fucks about what anyone else thinks.

It isn’t that I don’t value and welcome the input of others despite its degree of subjectiveness. A big part of having the guts to put something you have created out there is to take criticism objectively.

The bottom line is no one is born with an ability or skill set. We all need to start somewhere, and learning is a lifelong journey. In order to improve any skill requires practice, reflection, and practice some more.

It isn’t my intention to offend, but that’s the beauty of a book. You have the option to close it and walk away. And if a reader chooses not to and by doing so is offended by the content, well that becomes their problem to deal with, not mine.