Midlife Redefined

I hate the term midlife crisis. As soon as I think of it, I envision a middle-aged bald guy purchasing an ostentatious flashy sports car or ditching his wife and kids for his twenty-odd year-old secretary.

A midlife crisis is defined as a period of emotional turmoil, self-reflection, and potential identity shift that some middle-aged adults experience between roughly 40 and 60 years old. While often depicted stereotypically, it can stem from life changes, confronting mortality, and a reassessment of life choices, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction or anxiety.

It can also stem from a reaction to circumstances beyond one’s control, when the choice to take a different path becomes the only action from which you can garner enough strength to keep going. To me this screams durability and illustrates a fighting spirit. In such a situation I feel the term redefine is much more fitting.

For most of us life falls comfortably into a regular and often mundane cycle, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Often it takes a “rug pulling event,” a term coined by a good friend of mine, to awaken a plethora of possibilities for what our future could look like if we opted for a different path, or a few. I mean, whoever said you have to stick to just one?

Life was not kind to my niece. But much like the phoenix of many a folklore tale she refused to be beaten, rising from the ashes to embark on a journey that spanned continents and led her to experience life in, amongst other places, Thailand, Bali, and Italy at the tender age of 25. She recently wrote an article that addressed the very subject matter of what a midlife redefine is.

Who says we have to choose one path and stick to it? Think you missed your moment? Think again.

80% of Forbes’ list of the 100 Most Powerful Women are over 50.

Success doesn’t have an expiration date. A woman’s career is a long game and it’s time we start normalizing life’s pivots!

In truth, the only thing you should have done… was start yesterday.

If it seems like this is the epitome of placing a positive spin on a negative occurrence, that’s because it is! And that is something that should be celebrated.

Success doesn’t have a specific age range. Neither does failure. But the older we get the harder it becomes for us to let go of what no longer serves us. Sometimes this is due to a lack of recognition, think of the frog in boiling water analogy, sometimes it’s due to a fear of the unknown.

My aforementioned friend, who described the situations that create life’s pivots as rug pulling events, provides the perfect example of someone thrust into a less linear journey by circumstances beyond her control.

After her marriage unexpectedly ended she pulled herself together with the grace and determination few can muster and aimed her life in a different direction. The new trajectory was not without its challenges and life dealt her a few harsh hands along the way. But through it all she refused to buckle and break. Instead, she used every experience as an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to discover paths of possibility beyond what she had ever even imagined.

And the outcome? She is currently six months shy of completing her master’s in counselling, gained her yoga instructor certification, set up her own business, and has plans in place to write a book.

Much like my niece, her strength and tenacity are both phenomenal and inspirational.

Throughout my teaching days I would constantly encourage students to change their perspective on failure. To view each one as an opportunity to learn and improve. To accept that mistakes are a natural and unavoidable part of the process on the journey to success. Every expert was once a novice and with this comes unavoidable failures. Each time you choose to start again you do so wiser.

It really is all about perspective.

So often I am surprised by the sheer number of people who confide in me that they possess aspirations to write yet lack the confidence to try. This common feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt prevents many from pursuing their writing dreams. However, the fact is that none of us know what we are truly capable of unless we actually try our hand at something brand new. I know I for one have managed to surprise the hell out of myself this year.

So, fuck the norms. Fuck what you thought your life should be and start allowing yourself to be excited by what it could be.

I’m going to leave you with the words of one far wiser than me;

The truth? The path to success is rarely linear. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable. And it’s yours to define.

It’s never too late to begin. But it’s always too soon to give up.